This art featured in my memoir, Incandescence: Rising Above Darkness is included as a moment of serenity between chapters and does not necessarily have any literal connection to the story.
Incandescence: Rising Above Darkness Excerpt Chapter #43 Part II. Light Where Darkness Had Been
By the time I arrived, my father’s friends were gathering in a mob, pointing their hurt and anger at my father’s girlfriend, who they thought shot him.
“We do not know what happened yet.” I said.
“Clare, I know you will figure it out,” my godmother said. Many throughout my life have thought I could see things others could not. When I was fourteen, my godmother saw the other kids following me around and knew I preferred solitude, so she asked sweetly, “Are your devotees crowding you, dear?”
Even as a child, people came to me thinking I had something to say that could help. I am still trying to figure out what that is, hoping that trying is enough.
There was no horror. I felt strongly that he was not angry, he had left nothing to be cleaned up. It felt like he was resigned to end his pain the only way he knew he could not pass it on to anyone else.
To my father,
I am grateful for many things you gave me: respect for nature, appreciation for keeping my mind my own, a sense of adventure, insatiable curiosity, a desire to never stop learning, creative exploration, and wit.
You showed me the dark to contrast the light, giving life more depth. I have seen you roar like a lion and tremble like a baby bird fallen from the nest. I will always remember sitting next to a fire listening to you tell stories and your passionate description of the dragons and tigers you saw in the clouds over our heads.
Most of all, I appreciate who you were and that you chose my mother. I know you did the best you could do. And in a final act I see as courage, you ended passing on the pain the only way you knew how.
Only tenderness and forgiveness remain from me for you. Now you have joined the unimaginable. I will see your magnificent creatures playing in the clouds. I will think of you when I am on an adventure.
Only love remains for you, and I hope only peace remains with you.
Your loving daughter, Clare
Clare Cooley
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